Gypsy Pie's Lament is a fanmade story by an anonymous user. It stars Pinkie Pie speaking in "gypsy talk" to her friends about the smooze. It also includes a fan made song named Gypsy Gypsy Gypsy Magic, sung by Pinkie Pie in an single acapella.
Pinkie Pie tells Twilight, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity and Rainbow Dash about the smooze in her language of "gypsy talk" (a strange deadpan mid-Atlantic language with words that rhyme). Fluttershy explains that she is the cult leader, with Rarity being a member, and Twilight being a member. Applejack lies to Pinkie that she is also a member, but Pinkie Pie "can read Applejack's mind" because she was lying. Pinkie Pie then releases a crystal ball to know a pony's true fortune of a smoozecalypse happening. The crystal ball shows an image of My Little Pony: The movie with a part of the smoozecalypse invading a city. Rainbow Dash scolds Pinkie for showing stupid things, but Pinkie sings Gypsy Gypsy Gypsy Magic for a big, huge truth answer. At the end of the song, Pinkie's friends are shocked and leave in upset expressions. Pinkie shrugs then brings the fourth wall to end the story.
To see more quotes, see the story's transcript.
"Slimy and icky, but you know... it's kinda picky, and you want to see a pile of ooze, he's THE SMOOZE!"
- Pinkie Pie ("gypsy talk")
"Ah'm a member too, on the count of--"
- Applejack lying to Pinkie
"That is gooey."
- Rarity, judging the Smooze